Although the annual national military survivors seminar is not an event anyone wants to be a part of, for those of us who have suffered the death of a loved one while serving their country, TAPS is our true home. A place where we meet others who have walked the journey before us and those who have walked the journey after us.
After opening ceremonies on Friday morning with guest speaker, Chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Mullen, the weekend offered various seminars for spouses, parents, siblings, friends, and most special the Good Grief Camp for Young Survivors where children of our deceased military can learn to share their emotions with other children while learning to smile again and celebrate the life and pride of their fallen parent. With picnics and visits to historical sites around D.C., music, song, and laughter our fallen heroes' children do find peace and joy on the shoulders of Good Grief Camp volunteer mentors there to help them in their journey.
To top all of that one other very special treat for the kids (and adults) was a visit from Klinger, a real horse that serves in the Caisson Platoon at Arlington National Cemetery. This came after Gold Star mom and friend, Betsy Beard, author, and illustrator, Shelley Johannes, debuted the new children's book called, Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hope, based on Klinger and his service to families of the fallen. All proceeds from sales of this beautiful book benefit TAPS and can be purchased at the TAPS Online Store http://www.taps.org/.
Adults had the opportunity to reach out to one another and share their stories at various workshops. I was privileged to facilitate a journaling/writing workshop where we all shared why we wanted to write about our loved ones, the difficulty in doing so, but the end result of having a written legacy if we could break through the veil of grief and put words from our heads onto paper.
After providing a guide sheet with questions that anyone could respond to and begin their stories, most in the room began to write although a few still struggled which was okay. Every individual has to work through their grief in their own way and time. But at least everyone took a guide sheet home with them that when time comes, they can begin placing thier words and thoughts into their own story.
Another special time at TAPS was to debut my new book, Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war share stories of coping, courage, and faith. This work of four years is a compilation of essays from more than 25 parents who received the dreaded news that their child had died in military service. These invaluable stories show how today's military families are surviving the folded flag and give a glimpse into the lives of fallen service members as Gold Star parents tell the stories and celebrate the lives of their fallen heroes. Surviving also includes advice for other Gold Star families, their friends, and family members. Proceeds from Surviving helps TAPS families.
A couple of strong supporters of TAPS came to meet, speak, and sing to us. Larry Gatlin, the legendary country music star was a delight to meet. He provided me time to share with him the history of the Blue and Gold Star service flags. And long time TAPS supporter, Ben Stein, provided words once again at the Saturday evening dinner about who the "Real Stars" are in our country...they are the military members holding the line against evil that wants to destroy our country, and the families who love and support them.
While several workshops were in progress, I was in the vendor room at the table with our books, Heart of a Hawk & Surviving the Folded Flag. Two ladies strolled toward me and I greeted them. As our conversation progressed and I learned this was the aunt and mom of a fallen hero, August 2009, Afghanistan, we shared a few thoughts, tears, and discussion with the mom of how she wished she could talk with some of her son's friends, although the unit was still in Afghanistan. After I learned that her son was with a unit out of Ft. Lewis, Washington, I smiled and told her I had a friend there, a chaplian's wife, that I would contact to see if we could get help. Long story short, when I called my friend later that evening and shared the story about this mom and her wish, I learned that my friend's husband was attached to the unit that this mom's son was part of. In light of this, we've been able to set up some communications between this mom and her son's unit.
Another experience came after my husband found himself in a conversation with a dad whose son had taken his own life. Dave learned from the dad that his wife was struggling and wasn't ready to attend the TAPS survivors weekend. As the day went on, Dave found himself in conversation with a mom whose son had taken his own life. After hearing her story, Dave asked if he could introduce her to a dad dealing with the same type loss and maybe get connected to the dad's wife.
Of course, we don't know the outcome of these two parent's conversation or what happened afterwards, for that belongs to God. But what a wonderful feeling to know God could use us to bring individuals together for common bonds.
