HOLIDAY INSPIRATION FOR JINGLED NERVES PART 1 Humor

I want to thank Bettina of Bay County Library and Frank of the Panama City Beach Library for allowing me to bring presentations to their facillities on Monday and Tuesday evening, Dec 7 & 8th. And I want to thank those who attended the 1 hour 15 min event that allowed me to rouse some laughter while also sharing a few of my personal stories regarding holiday stress and providing tips from various sources that help to relieve stress, anxiety, or jingled nerves!

I'm sure many of you are familiar with John Tesh of the radio program, "Intelligence for your Life", well my ambition is to do the same. I want to bring positive helpful information along with smiles, laughter, and time well spent with you.

So, for a bit of laughter, here's a joke I found:
To All Employees
From Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council)

Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to made tinsel is discouraged!

Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill!)

Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

Company cars are not to be ussed to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORRE July 25.

Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday!
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So, a friend shared that when her son was nine years old he sat out cookies, milk and a beer for Santa. The next morning the youngster came racing to his parents yelling, "there really is a Santa!" His mom said, "well how do you know?" Because Santa only drank half the beer. If it had been dad, he'd have drank the whole thing!"
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Regarding Humor: Dr. Steven M. Sultanoff, a clinical psychologist in Irvine California says that "The experiences of humor relieves emotional distress and assists in changing negative thinking patterns."

Well, here it is Christmas, 2009, where we are all living with many uncertainties and each of us have our own concerns and emotional situations to cope with.

We're living with "Jingled Nerves" . So, okay I found this little re-do of Jingle Bells on the net by Amy Scholten in an article for the Swedish Medical Center in Seattle Washington.

Dashing through the snow
In a mindless fit of fray
Through the malls we go
Rushing all the way
Horns on Hondas blast
We have to geet home fast!
What fun it isw to bake and wrap
Thank God it doesn't last!
Jingled nerves, jingled nerves, jingled all the way!
What fun it is to bak and wrap, Thank God it doesn't last!

During the Christmas season we can get our underwear pulled up in some very uncomfortable places! Literally a pain in the you know what!

There's the decorating, shopping, parties, kids plays, church events, crowds, family gatherings, clutteer, roller coaster emotions and for our military families the anxieties and stresses are above the norm because a spouse is thousands of miles away in a war zone.

Speaking of military spouses, I am one, well retired now...but I've been there don that when my husband was active duty Marine Corps and we were based in Southern California.

Dave seemed to always be deployed in November, just prior to Thanksgiving. A couple of stressful holiday events come to mind:

In 1988 before Dave deployed our oldest son Patrick, became angry at us for some reason only known to a 16 year old who believes their reasoning tops any thing including a nice warm home, good food and all expenses paid...but in his reasoning and fit of anger, he slipped from the house, took his cool candy apple red 1966 Chevy Malibu with roll & tuck leather seats to a used car dealer to try and sell it for a ticket to fly to the east coast to his grandmother's home...Yep it was APB time!

Then there was the time when both our boys were back east visiting relatives and I was alone. Now I worked and was always early to arrive at the office. On this given morning I went into the garage to iron a blouse. When finished, I turned the door knob to return inside the house, but lo and behold, the door was locked! I couldn't go out the garage door because back then we didn't have a garage door opener. We couldn't afford one since it already took my entire monthly paycheck to make the mortgage!

Fearing the girls at the office would think something had happened to me because they knew Dave was deployed and the boys were away, I looked at the tool box, grabbed a hammer and started smashing the door knob. Pieces fell out, but apparently not the correct piece that allowed the lock to give. In more of a Jingled Nerve mode, I picked up the axe and proceeded to hack away at the rest of the door knob pieces until every single nut and screw fell to the floor along with a few chunks of wood from the door itself!

I rushed into the house, called the office, and confirmed with the girls I was fine and would be to work shortly to explain my delay. Of course I went immediately after work and order a garage door opener and installation from Home Depot and called a friend and asked if he'd come replace the door knob, which he so graciously did.

Later that evening I spoke with another wife of our unit and told her what had happened. Now news travels fast among military unit spouses and such. It wasn't long before I received a call from my husband in Japan asking how in the world I'd locked myself in the garage!

And the unit monthly news letter was headlined with 1st Sgt's Wife Axes Her Way Out of Garage!

Yep, these are a couple of my Jingled Nerved and looking back now, funny moments as a military wife, but my stress was nothing compared to other military wives such as my young cousine currently in Ft. Richardson, Alaska with 3 young children while her husband is currently serving in Afghanistan.

I am so proud of her as I read little tid bits on facebook that reflects how she is coping courageously through having fun and laughing with her kids whether they are taking photos of one another to post or talking about a movie they saw and having fun with comments and laughter by joking around. And that she also allows her frustration to show a bit through the words she leaves about how much she misses her husband. I believe she sets a good example of working to balance her life as a military wife, mom, and also a woman who holds down a job and manages to get her kids to activities important to their life.

To our military families, spouses, children, and parents of those serving...thank you all for your service, sacrifice, and dedication.



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Comments for Heart of a Hawk

I want to thank Telina, a military wife at Ft Richardson Alaska and Gerald of Locust Grove, Ga for their wonderful comments about Heart of a Hawk. Please go to comments beneath the Heart of a Hawk Blog to read.

WHJG Noon Show Channel 7 Interview November 23

I appreciate the interview on November 23 to discuss Heart of a Hawk and RIZE & SHYNE Presentations. To see the interview please click the link. At the site, go the right side to the "video screen" and beneath scroll to look for In Studio: Heart of a Hawk Local Author

101.1 Talk Radio with Burnie Thompson

It's always such a wonderful pleasure to be on the show with Burnie Thompson's Talk Radio program, 101.1, Northwest Florida's FM Talk Station. On Friday, December 4, from 8 to 9 a.m. Burnie allowed me to remind the listening audience about our millitary families and our men and women serving on our behalf far from home. As the wife of a retired U.S. Marine I know the extra stress and melancholy that comes with our traditional family Christmas holiday. I spent a number of Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays with my husband 8,000 miles from home. As a military mom I know the anxiety of having a child 8,000 miles away in a war zone during the holidays. I now have a young cousin with 3 young children stationed at Fort Richardson, Alaska while her husband is serving in Afghanistan. When we talk or chat on Facebook, I can tell the anxiety she is experiencing and do all I can to give her a lift. "This too shall pass!" Although at the moment it doesn't seem so.
I also ask everyone to remember the families who have suffered the ultimate sacrifice as well as anyone else known to be grieving through the holidays due to the death of a loved one. I reminded listeners to please acknowledge anyone they know who may be going through such grief, especially at this time of year. Give them a hug and don't be afraid to talk about the deceased loved one, and if anyone is afraid to mention the deceased loved one, just ask the person grieving if they would like to talk about their loved one. Believe me, this is a beautiful gift to most of us. Most of us don't want our loved ones forgotten or not spoken of, especially those like my husband and I who have suffered the death of a child. I also advise the grieving to give others permission to speak of their deceased loved one. This may sound odd, but our society does not teach how to handle grief from either side, the grieving or the observer, we all learn as we go along. My neighbor who lost her 19 year old son in a car accident over a year ago shared with me that it seemed at the family Thanksgiving gathering that some seemed to want to tip toe around and not talk about her son. I asked if she had thought of giving them permission to do so, because they are simply afraid that they will upset her or her husband or other young son. It was as though a light came on for her. She had never thought about doing such a thing, but it made perfect sense after we talked about it. These two small things can keep anyone from feeling like they have to walk on eggshells and keep down any hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
So, Burnie, thank you for letting me share time on your show! I look forward to the next time.

MESSAGES ABOUT HEART OF A HAWK

Thank you to those who leave inspiring comments about our family story, Heart of a Hawk. Your purchase of Heart is a contribution to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of military personnel & the Good Grief Camp for Kids held each Memorial Weekend in Washington, D.C.

For more info, see: www.heartofahawk.com

CONTRIBUTING TO GREAT BRITAIN'S FORCES POETY - VOICES OF THE POPPIES

I was honored a while back to be asked to contribute a foreward and poem to a publication of poetry by Forces Poetry in Great Britain. Voices of the Poppies, is a compilation of poems dedicated to those who have fallen on the battlefields in the name of freedom. Voices contains poems of yester year and poems by familiy members in England enduring the journey through the wars of the 21st century. To learn more about this book of poems or to submit your own poem to Forces Poetry, please see the website: http//www.flowforall.org/voicesofthepoppies.asp

NEWS HERALD ARTICLE PANAMA CITY FLORIDA

Thanks Daniel Carson for writing such a good article about Heart, November 16, 2009.
Readers, please see this link:
http//www.newsherald.com/news/son-79112-iraq-journal.html

VETERAN'S DAY RADIO INTERVIEW COUNRY 103.5 MANKATO MN

Thanks to my dear friend, Wild Bill McKubby, former Columbus, Georgia Country Music DJ now at 103.5 in Mankato, Minnesota for letting me tout my military mom & pride message and our book Heart of a Hawk on his show on Veteran's Day. Listen to my interview by clicking the following link to the Bill & Jessi Show Sound Byte

http://www.country103.com/

Photo of Bill & beautiful wife Marilyn wedding shower at our home in Georgia, 2007,

PANAMA CITY WRITER'S GUILD NOVEMBER 17, 2009

A note of thanks for the ladies who are the backbone behind the Panama City Writer's Guild. Barbara Mulligan and Martha Spiva, co-founders, and Linda Nix, co-chair. Thank you for asking me to be a recent guest speaker to share my marketing experience and give tips to others. I look forward to testing out a 30 minute writing activity at future monthly meetings.

Meeting Mike Huckabee Nov 15, 2009 Borders Books

The last time I met Huck I arrived late and stood for two hours in a line moving like a snail. This time I arrived two hours early, took a seat on the floor between two other ladies where we chatted until Huck arrived. When I came to the table where books were being signed (A Simple Christmas) I told Huck I had met him the last time he came to Borders at Pier Park, then I laid down one of my Heart of a Hawk bookmarks and ask him if he remembered...He responed with wide eyes and placed his hand on his heart and told me he remembered and how much Patrick's story meant to him and his family. Huck had sent us a letter last December telling us the same. The letter is here on the blog. This validates for us that our willingness to share our "dysfunctional family" and Patrick's life from rebellious surfer and snowboarder to the "unlikely" war hero is a story that others connect with.

First United Methodist Church Speaking Engagement

This morning the Panama City Florida UMW of First United Methodist Church on 6th street were warm and gracious when I arrived with my "roadee friends" Glyn & Edna. Martha Spiva, my dear friend from Panhandle Writer's Guild and Bethel Village Women's Center, a program of the PC Rescue Mission,introduced me to the group after we enjoyed a snack. It is wonderful to stand in front of a group and know they are receiving your message. My Topic, Heart of the Lords Prayer, also published on this sight, was received with open hearts and wonderful comments to me after the closing. I left the engagement with a happy heart! Sharing my family journey and how faith and seeking God's will for our lives in the wake of grief always lifts my spirits. Thank you Ladies for the gift you gave me and my friends. Your kindness and warmth. Hope to see you again soon. God Bless you and yours with continued strength and courage through this earthly journey.

Heart of the Lords Prayer

By Deborah Tainsh

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 17, 2009


Faith is the vision of the heart.
It sees God in the night as well as in the day.


Mark 11:22-23 – Jesus told Peter to Have faith in God. (23) Followed by “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, Go, fall into the sea. And if you have no doubts in your mind and believe that what you say will happen, God will do it for you.” (New century version)

For many it is truly easy to proclaim to be a person of faith, adore God, give testimony, and smile like the Cheshire cat when their lives appear to glow with the light of angels and answered prayers around us. But when the light is suddenly blown out and darkness falls, confusion can set in.

Thoughts run rampant …I did everything right. I’ve served the Lord…I’ve loved my unlovable neighbor, I prayed with more than a grain of faith for the mountain to be moved, but it fell down and crushed me…. Why, why, why!

I have to admit my husband and I were two who experienced such thoughts after the death of our son in Iraq in 2004. And we have witnessed the same confusion by others in the realm of life that we’ve been a part of as military parents.

One of the first things my husband David swore after we received news about Patrick was that he did not want to hear the name God mentioned because God had let him down. What my husband remembered most from his time of going to church as a child and adult was the verse from Mark 11:22 -23 about mountains being moved with faith as small as a mustard seed.

Granted I was angry at God because I felt he had short changed us with Patrick’s turn in life at 29 from a homeless drug addict to an outstanding U.S. Army Cavalry Scout who died at age 33 in battle. I cursed and shouted, dug holes in red Georgia clay while I screamed.

Then on the other hand I knew that God was the only one that could bring us from the depths and help us find sanity and purpose in the madness.

Now of the two of us, I was always the spiritual one in our household. My husband was never one to talk much about God or spirituality. A retired Marine Corps veteran of Vietnam and the 1st Gulf War, his greatest acknowledgement of being a believer was that there were no atheists in foxholes.


With the quiet anger that fell into our home after Pat’s death in 2004, although anger and confusion filled me, I would sit on the back deck of our home in Georgia surrounded by two acres of nature and I would talk quietly to God, seeking peace and direction in our “new norm.”

Seeking what to do to lead my husband from a dark abyss.

I will never understand that verse in Mark about faith and moving mountains…except to believe that Christ meant the mountain of darkness, ie grief, caused by a carnal world where death makes no distinction regarding age and the kind of earthly life an individual lived.

Many of us have experienced being a part of the “unanswered prayer” club when it comes to having loved ones pass untimely from this world to the next …and we don’t know why…

And it is very painful for those like me who happen to be in the presence of another who is glowing in the Lord because they feel that their prayer was answered. Example: Another mom at a luncheon table where I sat a number of months ago made the statement that she had really learned to pray while her son was deployed to a war zone, and he returned home safe. Then she said to me that she didn’t know how those of us went on who didn’t have our kids returned.

It was so hard not to ask her what it was she knew about prayer that I and others didn’t. I wanted to ask her if she ever gave thought that it wasn’t necessarily her prayer that brought her son home, but the will of God and his ultimate plan.


Through the pain of grief and learning to ignore comments of others, I have truly learned the meaning of the only prayer that Jesus ever said for us to pray and this has changed my entire way of looking at the journey here on planet earth where we are all disappointed and pained by many trials. The experience of a parent’s greatest loss and accepting this one prayer has strengthened my faith to “let go and let God’s will” be first in my relationship with Him.

If I believe anything in scripture, this is the one scriptural I’ll hold tight and ever need…


The Lords Prayer :
Matthew 6:10-14 Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, (may your name always be kept holy.) May your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread (our food each day). Forgive us our debts, (sins) as we also have forgiven our debtors (those who have sinned against us). And lead us not into temptation, (do not cause up to be tempted) but deliver (save) us from the evil one. For thine is the kingdom, power, and glory forever Amen.


Matthew 26 reports that in the Garden of Gethsemane Christ became sad and troubled with a heart full of sorrow to the point of death. (Oh how grieving parents feel this!)
He fell to the ground praying, “Father if it is possible do not give me this cup of suffering. But do as you want and not what I want.
Jesus prayed a second time: “My Father, if it is not possible for this painful thing to be taken from me, and if I must do it, I pray that what you want will be done.”

Letting these scriptures fall into an open heart I came to truly understand that as a person of faith in a God and creator that is truly incomprehendable, all I need to grasp for the rest of my life is this simplest of prayers, The Lord’s Prayer, and complete unconditional acceptance of Gods Will in my life just as Christ did. I do add just a few words, and that’s asking for the strength and courage I need to meet His will.

On the journey since Patrick’s death, emotional and marital difficulties have run rampant. I’ve been depressed, I’ve been in a counselors office, I’ve become angry about issues in our nation and world. Life has at times seemed empty and worthless although my husband and I were lead to do what we could for other parents of war who followed our path.

Each time I’ve come to a low point because of a terribly emotional day with myself or issues between me and my husband or for other reasons, I’ve sat down and written a note to my Father in heaven. Told Him exactly how “low” I felt and why, I’ve said the Lord’s prayer, and ask for direction with the needed strength and courage to move forward in His will for my life.

I’ve ask to lead my husband through my own example of faith and spirituality.

You would have had to have known my husband during and a few years after 2004 to truly understand how far he has also come on our journey.

I don’t know how many of you may be acquainted with Dr. Wayne Dwyer, inspirational author and speaker seen often on PBS, but I want to share something I heard him say on a day I was walking on my treadmill feeling angry and depressed about the human condition.

Dr. Dwyer was speaking about how prayer keeps us connected to our source, our Creator God. Without mediation and prayer we drift away from the light of our Source and into a darkness, feeling alone ( I call it my personal hell). Then he also said something that seemed to make more sense to me than anything:

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

For me this was another way of saying that although we are in this world, we are not of this world.
Hence, the spirit within us so needs meditation and prayer to keep us near the light of our Source and filled with strength and courage to do His will to bring about all that he designed before the beginning of time, and until our time to transition from earth to our celestial home with the Lord.

When all is said and done, and we sit down in quietness, I believe we can truly realize that in this physical world where we temporarily abide, we can travel our journey kicking and screaming, confused, and depressed, or we can simply say, Father, Thy Will Be Done, just give me the strength and courage to accept that will and complete my task.

I truly believe that had these words been pressed more into those like my husband and me who mostly remembered the preaching of having a grain of faith to move mountains, instead of praying a constant chant for Pat to return home safe, we would have prayed from the day Pat left for war just as Jesus taught and we would have humbled ourselves as Jesus did when he prayed in Gethsemane. I believe if we had had such faith and confidence in The Lord’s Prayer and God, the blow to us and those like us would not have been so devastating when receiving news of Pat’s death.

The other side of our coin is that through Pat’s transition from earth to “higher ground”, God has brought us to a place in faith where we needed to be and taught us to Rize Above and Shine through the darkness to honor Him and help others as we continue our physical journey, for planet earth is not a destination, it truly is a journey that can be easy or difficult depending on our relationship with God our Source and Creator, how committed we are to His Will.

Heart of a Military Woman - Stories & Tributes to Those Who Serve Our Country

I am excited to learn that 3 of my submissions were accepted for the new Heart series book: Heart of a Military Woman. " Through Pride & Faith"; "Momas Like Me"; and "Notes on Grief." Sparkle Press



I will be in Chula Vista California at Borders Books for book signing December 12,2009

BRANSON VETERAN''S WEEK & STARS & FLAGS BOOK AWARDS

Dave and I were thrilled to travel to Branson Missouri November 4 for the Nov 5 Veteran's Week opening ceremonies where our family book, Heart of a Hawk was awared the Branson Stars & Flags Book Awards Silver Medal for inspirational category.

We recommend all veterans to plan a trip there in the future. Branson honors American's veterans and provides a weeks worth of activities. We were sorry we had to leave before November 10 and the Marine Corps Ball with Oliver North as guest speaker.

Veterans or family members of veterans can make an appointment to video record their stories at the War Museum. These recordings are created for the Library of Congress Military History Project. I did this in honor of my husband USMC retired and our son, Sgt Patrick Tainsh.

We plan to return next year.