Panama City News Herald Article...Military Moms & Mother's Day

Thank you Daniel Carson for a beautiful news story on May 9, Mother's Day about my new book, Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war share stories of coping courage & faith.

It is a pleasure to know and work with you.

www.newsherald.com/news/day-83708-military-moms.html

Life, Learning, Friendship, & Service

On Tuesday evening, May 11, I was honored to be the guest speaker for the Panama City Theta Zeta chapter of  Beta Sigma-Phi. The original organization founded in 1931was created from the need to bring women together for exposure to social, cultural, and educational experiences.  During World War II members worked together and raised 22 million in war bonds.  With the passing of decades and the motto, Life, Learning, & Friendship, the organization currently reports 200,000 members in chapters around the world and continues to be a women's organization that develops life long friendships and provides service to communities.

The Theta Zeta chapter meets monthly and their service projects provide needs for the Panama City Rescue Mission and Bethel Village Women's Shelter.

I want to thank member Marilyn Redd for extending the invitation for me to speak to the group and for providing a wonderful dinner of her fantastic homemade lasagna. Everyone made me feel right at home and gave me their full attention as I shared the history of Blue and Gold Star Service Flags, issues faced by families of loved ones killed while serving in our nation's armed forces, and how faith and bonding together has helped our grieving military families cope with losses.

I especially appreciate the members purchasing copies of my book, Heart of a Hawk, which provides funds that support organizations that help our military families and wounded warriors.

Deb Speaks to Wounded Warriors at Emerald Grande Resort at HarborWalk Village, Destin Fla May 8

Gold Star Mom, Deb Tainsh, Speaks to Wounded Warriors in Destin, Fla

Wounded Warriors hosted by Destin Emerald Grande at HarborWalk Village May 7, 8, 9

Blue Star mom Penny Pinkham of Fort Walton, Florida is one of my new heroes.  Just a couple of months ago, with a dream to bring wounded warriors from Fort Hood, Texas to our beautiful Emerald Coast in Destin, Florida for a weekend retreat, she stepped out on faith and angels came flocking.  Penny approached Director of Sales Frank Sandro at the most beautiful and my favorite resort in Destin, the Emerald Grande at HarborWalk Village. Frank in turn spoke with General Manger, Bruce Craul who didn't hesitate to say yes to providing 50 rooms, spa treatments, food, and fishing excursions on the resort's The Sloop fishing boat. Frank also contacted other business owners at HarborWalk Village that also contributed to providing events for the wounded warriors.

Penny also contacted Cindy Maney, President of Northwest Florida Blue Star Mothers, to seek help with all the details involved in bringing the event together.  Well, what an event it was on Saturday and Sunday May 8th and 9th. My Blue Star mom friend, Colleen Greene whose son is currently serving in Afghanistan had provided my name to Penny to be considered for speaking. And, WAHLAH!  Following words by the Mayor of Destin, I was honored to be a part of the Saturday evening Red, White, and Blue celebration and spoke to the warriors for a few minutes. 

Special inspirational speaker was wounded warrior Lt. Clebe McClary, USMC 1st Recon Platoon 1967 -1968 Vietnam, author of the book, LIVING PROOF, along with his beautiful wife of 42 years, Deanna.  Clebe shared his story from Vietnam that cost him an arm, an eye, and fingers on his remaining hand.  How he withstood over 40 operations and 2 years in a hospital while his wife remained steadfast from then through to today.  His message is one of courage, endurance, and faith to today's wounded warriors.

Signs for the event were created by elementary school students of Okaloosa County.

Blue Star mom, Colleen Greene (far left), Blue Star Mom Cindy Maney (glasses), and Gold Star Mom Glenda Penton

Deb with Wounded Warriors before dinner at poolside.

Presentation at Bay County Patriots, Panama City, Florida

Deb & Bay Patriots President, Former U.S. Navy, & Patriot Guard Rider, Patrick T. Moore

Mom Brunie Kosta and son, Junior Patriot, Austin

Patriot, former U.S. Airforce, and local radio talk show host, Burnie Thompson introducing Deb

Bay Patriots of Panama City, Florida is a self supported organization founded in 2009. The organization is comprised of local citizens who advocate for constitutional freedom and liberty through education, seminars, handing out copies of the constitution and holding government accountable.

On Tuesday evening, May 4, I was honored to be guest speaker at the monthly meeting held at Mosely High School. Patriot and former Air Force Captain, now local radio talk show host, Burnie Thompson, introduced me to a group of over 100 citizens that included a number of Junior Patriots.

As photos from Patrick's tour in Iraq and his memorial service held at in Baghdad crossed the screen behind me, I gave a brief history of Blue and Gold Service Star flags followed by the following talk:

At the end of this month, those of us who truly understand its significance will be recognizing Memorial Day, a day originally called Decoration Day that began in 1868 following the end of our country's civil war.

The aftermath of this war spread the blood of over 600,000 dead across America. Hearts were empty except for grief, homes and property were destroyed, and broken bodies returned to whatever place was called home. Townspeople in communities across the country began visiting the local graves of their fallen to remember and honor them by decorating the resting places with flowers, wreaths, and crosses.

On May 30, 1868, for the first time, flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery.

After World War I, the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war. Unfortunately, over the years, the meaning of the traditional observances of Memorial Day has dimished.

After World War II, a war that cost 407,316 American lives to stop the spread of Hitler's savagery and to defend ourselves against the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, our country moved forward.

Subsequent generations were born into the most fee and prosperous nation on earth. And unfortunately these generations have grown into the "I, me" crowd where the majority know little about sacrificing for the American way of life they are blessed with.

During the America Revolution, rag tag militia fought and died in tattered clothes and barefeet in winter's snow to help create a free nation. Wealthy men willingly became paupers, giving up homes and fortunes in the fight for independence to build a republic for the people, by the people.

To date, over one million have died on behalf of this country, including our current wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Military families of all generations have suffered greatly as they have stood behind and for the loved ones willing to serve their country and defend its constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. As a military family of the 21st century, my husband and I and those like us have not only striven to learn to live with the death of a child in war, but we've had to learn to live being on the world stage with controversial politics and opinions debated in the hallways of the world.

We've had to learn to live with protestors and their malicious signs standing near our fallen children's funeral services. We've had to live with questions like, "why did you let your son join the military in the first place?"

Military families have learned to live with the fact that we are part of the less than one percent of our national population that serves, sacrifices, and protects the rest. As part of this less than one percent, our Blue and Gold Star families often remain apart, sometimes feeling alienated from the rest of the population.

Since the death of our son, Sgt Patrick Tainsh in Iraq 2/11/04, I've worked with other parents of fallen heroes and compiled a new book. Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war share stories of coping, courage, and faith, which will release to the public by Memorial Weekend, is a work of love to share the journeys of 20 other families and the bio of their fallen heroes. My dream for this work is provide other grieving families a source to validate their emotions and emotional roller coaster ride after the death of a loved one at war, to keep the legacies of these fallen heroes alive, and provide profits from book sales to wounded warrior projects and The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of military personnel.

A mom from Merritt Island, Fla wrote in her story for Surviving that over Memorial Weekend 2008 she and her husband visited Arlington where their son, Captain Christopher Kenny now rests since his death in Iraq. Jackie says that as they walked through Arlington and visited older graves, they stopped at the resting place of Air Force General Oliver Wendel Lewis. On the headstone was etched: "Let not my death diminish your llife, walk in the world for me."

This is now our duty, to walk in the world for each of the heroes who gave all so we can live the American dream. The Bay Patriots is an incredible example of walking in the world for our fallen heroes. They honor our fallen, wounded, and those still serving and their families through their efforts to remind a community about our founding fathers and mothers and the constitution.

Although a great nation founded on Judeo-Christian teachings, we are not a perfect nation and building our country did not go with out the pain of slavery and a war that changed the course for others. We did not go without the pain of the Trail of Tears that brought destruction to our native American Indians.

But aside from government inadequacies in building this nation and the 19th century bellief in Manifest Destiny, Americans are a good and compassionate people. We are the 911 call center for the world and provide more funds to help rescues others than any other country.

Our men and women in uniform are the greatest ambassadors to other nations than any one else as is shown in the stories of Surviving the Folded Flag.

Our country has problems that need correcting and roots we need to return to, but the greatest percentage of our population still believes in a Creator and God given right to freedom. Men and women have shed their blood to create a country free to worship and pray with tolerance.

When Dave, I and several other families met with President George Bush on January 11, 2007 at Ft. Benning, Georgia, a Gold Star dad ask if he could say a prayer for the President and our country. We all held hands in a circle that included the President.

Before the prayer was offered, President Bush told us tht he considered himself the most fortunate leader in the entire world because he was the only leader who could depend on the prayers of his people. And that he and Laura depended on those prayers to get through each day.

We all carry heavy hearts about things affecting our country and lives on this journey on the continuum of history. But we also have strength through the Creator who is still in control. I can't believe that our Creator, who has brought our country so far and through so much turmoil in past centuries, will not help us conquer current difficulties.

So, to Bay Patriots of Panama City, Florda and all organizations and individuals working to keep our nation free and a beacon to others, thank you for all you do.

I ask God's blessing on each of you, our valiant warriors still serving in the fight against terrorism, their families, and on this still great nation.

The Chaplain

Deborah & Chief of Staff Colonel Kafia Jones
335th Signal Command





Deb & Col John Powledge

Deb & Col John Powledge with advance copy

Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war

share stories of coping, courage, & faith

April 29, 2010, 7:30 a.m., I sat in the conference room at Embassy Suites, Garden Grove, California as a cvilian guest speaker for the chaplains of the U.S. Army 335th Signal Command headquartered in East Point, Georgia.

Known as Ready Lightening, the 335th Signal Command (Theater) is responsible for managing telecommunications infrastructure for Southwest Asia, an area covering 25 countries, in support of the U.S. Third Army/Army Central Command (ARCENT) and U.S. Central Command's (CENTCOM) peacetime and contingency operations. The command ensures deliver of seamless, enterprise-level command control, communications, computers and information management services as required by Army Network Operations (NETOPS). www.usar.army.mil/335thSig)

So, how did a Gold Star mom become part of the 335th Signal Command conference for chaplains? I owe the honor to Command Chaplain John Powledge who believed in me.

After the death of our son, Sgt Patrick Tainsh, KIA 2004 in Baghdad, with time, military.com began publishing my op-eds in support of our troops. Subsequently, I received an e-mail one day from Chaplain Powledge who was in Theater at the time. He thanked me for the positive messages I wrote to support the troops and in return provided notes of compassion and support to me and my husband, USMC Sgt Maj (ret) David Tainsh, in the wake of Patrick's death.

With negative media filling our homes in the U.S., Chaplain Powledge provided us with positive messages about successes and progress in Iraq. Even with his hands full with his own unit matters, he took the time to communicate with us. The chaplain connected me with his wife, Annette, in McDonough, Georgia and shared he had a son serving in the U.S. Army. After the chaplain returned stateside, he and Annette invited Dave and me to their home for dinner. From this point, an enduring friendship began that has been important to my family.

Why? When Patrick was killed, Dave and I lived 20 miles from Ft. Benning, Ga. Our notification officer and Army chaplain arrived at 6:00 a.m. the morning of February 12, 2004. After the awkward and frightful message they brought, my husband and I never received a single follow-up call from the chaplain. In our daze and with no family except my son, Phillip, I called a couple of acquaintances to tell them the news and see if they could come to our home.

Dave and I didn't have a church family or pastor. (This doesn't mean we're not spiritual or don't believe in our great Father in Heaven) I was lost at what to do. Our casualty notification officer called the next morning, but his help was limited because in 2004 he nor I knew exactly what protocol was. Patrick's death was one of the first 700 in Iraq and casualty notification and assistance was at the time still behind in its effectiveness. We managed to put together a memorial service for Patrick after his arrival from Dover, AFB to Columbus, GA, but I realized too late that we had no Army chaplain for his service. No one had asked if we needed assistance in this area, and in such dark grief, and no knowledge of exact protocol, Dave and I couldn't function to ask all we should have. So, the husband of an acquaintance, a retired minister, presided over the service.

As time passed, I always felt that Patrick's memorial service was not all it should have been becaue we didn't have an Army chaplain preside. In 2009, when Dave and I moved from Georgia to Panama City Beach, Florida into our new home, I contacted Chaplain Powledge and Annette to see if they would join us at our home with others for a dinner and salute to Patrick on the 5th anniversary of his death. I asked the chaplain if he would provide a time of prayer to bless our new home and provide words for Patrick in the room where his portrait and medals hung.

Chaplain Powledge, the chaplain who comforted me from in theater through e-mail, drove six hours to our home with a prayer of God's blessing for us and Patrick. The event brought a measure of closure to our wounded hearts.

So what does all this have to do with my speaking to chaplains at the 335th Signal Command conference? My new book, Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war share stories of coping, courage, & faith, a project of love for the past 4 years, will release just before Memorial Day Weekend, 2010. Chaplain Powledge was kind enough to read the original manuscript and wrote a forward of personal support because he believes in the powerful messages of the families and soldiers represented in the work. My publisher created advance copies of Surviving for the chaplain to provide each chaplain and chaplain's assistant at the conference.

Chaplain Powledge's belief in my work since 2005 to bring messages of support to our troops, honor for the wounded and fallen, and support to the families that love them, led him to have me as a guest speaker for the event where I shared raw stories about family pain and struggles after the casualty notification officer brings the message and how the chaplain can play an important roll afterwards.

Chaplain Powlede epitomizes the military chaplain and the importance chaplains hold to the military personnel and families who have sacrificed their greatest treasure.

So, to the chaplain and all others who have made a difference for military service members or Gold Star families, thank you, although it is such an inadequate expression.