The Chaplain

Deborah & Chief of Staff Colonel Kafia Jones
335th Signal Command





Deb & Col John Powledge

Deb & Col John Powledge with advance copy

Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war

share stories of coping, courage, & faith

April 29, 2010, 7:30 a.m., I sat in the conference room at Embassy Suites, Garden Grove, California as a cvilian guest speaker for the chaplains of the U.S. Army 335th Signal Command headquartered in East Point, Georgia.

Known as Ready Lightening, the 335th Signal Command (Theater) is responsible for managing telecommunications infrastructure for Southwest Asia, an area covering 25 countries, in support of the U.S. Third Army/Army Central Command (ARCENT) and U.S. Central Command's (CENTCOM) peacetime and contingency operations. The command ensures deliver of seamless, enterprise-level command control, communications, computers and information management services as required by Army Network Operations (NETOPS). www.usar.army.mil/335thSig)

So, how did a Gold Star mom become part of the 335th Signal Command conference for chaplains? I owe the honor to Command Chaplain John Powledge who believed in me.

After the death of our son, Sgt Patrick Tainsh, KIA 2004 in Baghdad, with time, military.com began publishing my op-eds in support of our troops. Subsequently, I received an e-mail one day from Chaplain Powledge who was in Theater at the time. He thanked me for the positive messages I wrote to support the troops and in return provided notes of compassion and support to me and my husband, USMC Sgt Maj (ret) David Tainsh, in the wake of Patrick's death.

With negative media filling our homes in the U.S., Chaplain Powledge provided us with positive messages about successes and progress in Iraq. Even with his hands full with his own unit matters, he took the time to communicate with us. The chaplain connected me with his wife, Annette, in McDonough, Georgia and shared he had a son serving in the U.S. Army. After the chaplain returned stateside, he and Annette invited Dave and me to their home for dinner. From this point, an enduring friendship began that has been important to my family.

Why? When Patrick was killed, Dave and I lived 20 miles from Ft. Benning, Ga. Our notification officer and Army chaplain arrived at 6:00 a.m. the morning of February 12, 2004. After the awkward and frightful message they brought, my husband and I never received a single follow-up call from the chaplain. In our daze and with no family except my son, Phillip, I called a couple of acquaintances to tell them the news and see if they could come to our home.

Dave and I didn't have a church family or pastor. (This doesn't mean we're not spiritual or don't believe in our great Father in Heaven) I was lost at what to do. Our casualty notification officer called the next morning, but his help was limited because in 2004 he nor I knew exactly what protocol was. Patrick's death was one of the first 700 in Iraq and casualty notification and assistance was at the time still behind in its effectiveness. We managed to put together a memorial service for Patrick after his arrival from Dover, AFB to Columbus, GA, but I realized too late that we had no Army chaplain for his service. No one had asked if we needed assistance in this area, and in such dark grief, and no knowledge of exact protocol, Dave and I couldn't function to ask all we should have. So, the husband of an acquaintance, a retired minister, presided over the service.

As time passed, I always felt that Patrick's memorial service was not all it should have been becaue we didn't have an Army chaplain preside. In 2009, when Dave and I moved from Georgia to Panama City Beach, Florida into our new home, I contacted Chaplain Powledge and Annette to see if they would join us at our home with others for a dinner and salute to Patrick on the 5th anniversary of his death. I asked the chaplain if he would provide a time of prayer to bless our new home and provide words for Patrick in the room where his portrait and medals hung.

Chaplain Powledge, the chaplain who comforted me from in theater through e-mail, drove six hours to our home with a prayer of God's blessing for us and Patrick. The event brought a measure of closure to our wounded hearts.

So what does all this have to do with my speaking to chaplains at the 335th Signal Command conference? My new book, Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war share stories of coping, courage, & faith, a project of love for the past 4 years, will release just before Memorial Day Weekend, 2010. Chaplain Powledge was kind enough to read the original manuscript and wrote a forward of personal support because he believes in the powerful messages of the families and soldiers represented in the work. My publisher created advance copies of Surviving for the chaplain to provide each chaplain and chaplain's assistant at the conference.

Chaplain Powledge's belief in my work since 2005 to bring messages of support to our troops, honor for the wounded and fallen, and support to the families that love them, led him to have me as a guest speaker for the event where I shared raw stories about family pain and struggles after the casualty notification officer brings the message and how the chaplain can play an important roll afterwards.

Chaplain Powlede epitomizes the military chaplain and the importance chaplains hold to the military personnel and families who have sacrificed their greatest treasure.

So, to the chaplain and all others who have made a difference for military service members or Gold Star families, thank you, although it is such an inadequate expression.