Humor & Faith Through Trying Times

I want to thank the Emerald Coast Women's Club, Panama City, Florida for having me as their guest speaker today, March 11, 2010. What a pleasure to meet a group of wonderful business women whose motto is "Women Helping Women" and whose major objective is to provide scholarshiips to women age 23 and above to help further higher education. This wonderful group held their annual "Death by Chocolate" event at the Marina Civic Center one week ago and raised over $15,000.00 for scholarships.

I was honored to bring a message about humor and faith through trying times to the group. And I am grateful for the responses I received that once again validated that God is guiding me to bring inspirational messages that benefit others.

Lynn Kandler, to my right is mom to a United States Marine who recently returned from Afghanistan and is currently at 29 Palms California. Among the group are others who have served as military wives and children. I so appreciate their support of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of Military Personnel and Good Grief Camp for Children of the Fallen by purchasing copies of my book, Heart of a Hawk.

To add a bit of humor I called my speaking topic: "Lord, am I really to thank you for these hot flashes?!" I brought what I called "Hot Flash Survivor Kits" for each lady that contained:

A piece of chocolate for that craving

A "Hot Stuff" fan for fanning away that hot flash

A handy wipe to dab the sweat

Some play dough, a color crayon, and coloring sheet for moments of stress and anxiety

A card with some inspirational words to refer to under any circumstance

And a party whistle to make noise at the end of the presentation in celebration of International Women's Day, Monday March 8

So now, I share my talk here...

Does anyone here have a problem in learning to give thanks to God in all things, especially the bad, and mean it?

Reminds me of the story of the young boy who said grace as the holiday meal. "Thank you God for my family, for the turkey, the beans, the potatoes, the pie and cool whip. Then he hesitated a moment, looked at this mom and said, 'if I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know I'm lying?'"

Well ladies, No matter how I strive to be the woman God wants me to be down to First Thessalonians 5:18: "In every thing give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Give thanks with a grateful heart..."

There is absolutely no doubt that God know I'm lying every time I say "Thank You Jesus" when heat rushes from my head to toes and sweat gushes through my pores while I'm trying to remove all clothing acceptable for decency in a public place, then in a manner of minutes redress to stop the chills!

And what is it with tossing covers off and on during the night, having my feel feel like they're against hot coals one moment and freezing the next! I have to keep a small fan running on the bedside table so I can lean into it in the middle of the night to cool down! Forget 8 hours of good sleep!

One thing for sure, at least I can honestly say I've matured into one hot woman! And I can drive my husband crazier than when I was 29!

Now, when I'm NOT having a moment of temporary insanity as occurs often during these hot flash moments, I do believe that "All things work together for a purpose" becasue "God's ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts" and after all, this is Planet Earth where being human can get pretty rough.

Well, woman that I am, I decided to research the purpose of hot flashes and I found some very interesting information.

One: I've decided that instead of trying to get my regular doctor to help me understand this hot flash and sweat stuff, I'm switching to a veterinarian referred to as DogtorJ.com who wrote a wonderful piece called: Hot Flashes -- A Sign of the Times:

He says he wrote this in response to repeated questions about the role of hot flashes in menopause and stated that like everything our body does, hot flashes do serve an important purpose! I really don't understand all he was saying in this paper, but it made more sense than anyone else has provided!

Two: from another .com article, according to some medical anthropologists who did work called Menopause Relief Project in Fiji, I learned that hot flashes and profuse sweating of menopause is not universal among women of all cultures...and that we Western women have more problems because unlike Fijian women, we wear bras so tight we can't breathe correctly, and because we're perspiration phobics, unlike Fijian women who perspire freely, we're preventing poisonous toxins from leaving our bodies by use of antiperspirants!

Hence! Hot flashes and sweats! Our bodies take over to do its best to keep us from being poisoned by junk from foods we western women intake along with the confusion of estrogen and progesterone levels as we get older.

The article also reiterated that one of the most critical functions of the human body is to eliminate toxins via lungs, intestines, skin, kidneys, and our monthly monster.

And when our monthly monster begins to cease, it's important for menopausal women to use the bathroom regularly, drink plenty of fluids, urinate when needed, breathe and perspire freely!

So, what I gathered is that we have to be willing to take better care of ourselves by going to the bathroom immediately when the urge arises, do not impair our ability to sweat freely or to breathe correctly (get rid of the bra!) Because when we impair our body, it takes revenge through hot flashes and sweats to get rid of those nasty toxins!

Wow! Now, don't we all feel so much better! There is a perfect purpose for these awful inconveniences! Thank you Jesus for hot flashes and sweats that remove toxins from my body!

I'm sure you all realize that I've used this as a means to create an analogy to see that purpose does exist in all things seemingly bad as well as good to the human perspective for life on planet earth.

Not one of us is immune to all sorts of hot flashes and sweats from inconvenient aggravating moments to the larger anxiety filled and painful life changing events.

I believe that just as menopausal hot flashes and sweats serve the purpose of a greater good for the female human body, so do other hot flashes and sweats of life serve a greater purpose for each individual's journey, although such events are not seen by the human eye as would wish to see and understand.

One of my favorite quotes is by speaker Wayne Dyer who is frequently seen on PBS. "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual being having a human experience."

Lord, I was so happy the moment I heard him say that. I was at a fitness center walking uphill on a treadmill watching Wayne on the tv in front of me. This occurred a few months after the death of my stepson in Iraq, my husband's only biological child and namesake. Wayne's words made me feel lik an anvil had been removed from my shoulders! The HOT FLASHes of LIFE on planet earth suddenly made sense!

But I personally found that to truly grasp and believe this, to me the unexpected Hot Flashes and Sweats head on, and to rise above the aggravations, pain, and frustration of being human on planet earth, I had to return to my source, my creator of the univrse and ask for peace in my heart and spirit that I couldn't give myself or gain from any other human or worldly material thing.

Through time and reaching to my creator to lead and show me how to use the awful hot flash and sweat of experiencing the death of a child, I have found peace, my husband has found peace, and we have been led to mentor other parents across the country who have experienced our same heartbreak.

Through our book, Heart of a Hawk, that I have here today for purchase, we are able to carry Patrick's legacy forward and provide proceeds from book sales to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of Military Personnel and Good Grief Camp for Children of the Fallen headquartered in D.C.

We have found joy and laughter again, even through 3 beautiful canines that are now our children!

We have been provided a path into a community where we always hoped to live. We don't know all the answers of why "Hot Flashes & Sweats" of life have to occur, except for "we ain't in heaven yet!", But I do know enough in my spirit and heart to hold to my faith that "All things do work together with purpsoe" whether I learn the purpose in this life time or not; and that to let my light shine and to seek God's guidance even through my greatest darkness is where I have opportunity to truly show my faith in God and belief in his ultimate purpose.

The tough times allow me to see the Creator's work in my life that helps me to grown and become a better human while a resident on planet earth. For this is not my permanent home.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 119: 18 - 19: "Open my eyes that I may see wondrous things; I am a stranger on earth." And another, Proverbs 17:22: "A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones."

I know it's difficult to pray and find reason or a happy heart, laughter and a cheerful mind during difficult times, however, it is my hope that next time you experience a "Hot Flash & Sweat" of any kind, you will stop for a brief moment, take a deep breath, and say "Thank you Lord. I don't know the purpose of this miserable moment, but help me rise above it and help my light shine as the woman and witness of your love and guidance that I'm meant to be."